A couple of months ago I posted a blog about lamenting our “first world problems” and was reminded of it when I found myself in the midst of a bitch-fest at a dear friend’s company’s happy hour to welcome his new French intern.
We both looked up mid-complaint at one point, simultaneously realizing our ridiculousness. So, in honor of that, I have complied a working addendum to the previous list of laments that plague our poor, priviledged lives. Such as:
“I had to get a replacement iPhone because I dropped mine and shattered the glass. Now I have to re- enter all my passwords (email, voicemail, Apps) AND reconfigure my Bluetooth connection in my Lexus.”
“My doctor cancelled my appointment so he could take the afternoon off and now I have to wait another two weeks because of my travel schedule before I can get a refill on my Adderal. Stupid government regulations on prescription methamphetamines!”
“I can’t believe I’ve been waiting on this checkout line at IKEA for 15 minutes!”
“I think my landscaping guy is over- charging me for pine straw.”
“I really hate it when my travel agent forgets to give my rewards program number when she books my hotel stays.”
My closet is so crowded with clothes I haven’t worn in years that I’ve decided I’m not allowed to get another virtual stylist shipment until I clean it out. But when do I have time for that? Oh well. I guess I’ll be wearing last season’s sweaters this fall.”
Feel free to add and / or throw rotten fruit.
The Narcissistic (American) Anthropologist 
These are definitely ridiculous! Thanks for reminding me to be more thoughtful about my own socioeconomic privilege. Though I consider myself to be a conscientious person, I’m sure I say stuff like this all the time and don’t even realize it. 🙂 I might try to keep a log now and see how I do.
Ha! I recently found myself lamenting that my boyfriend is always using up my free New York Times articles. First world prob! Love this. Good reminder.
I would recommend a spiritual journey (veiled as such for the bourgeois) deep into the Colombian jungle. They may want to request a military escort, however, these things are not always possible. In that case, the Revolutionary armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) are always looking for captives to further their political agenda and whip you with your own stupidity. so much stuff…just want more.
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