Some of My Best Friends Are White People

It would stand to reason that white folks in America should be able to take one on the chin every now and then given our American history of bigotry, oppression and otherwise mistreating minorities and non-white natives. We are due a few knocks and jibes. And we don’t necessarily always help ourselves overcome narrow-minded and conservative stereotypes…especially during political season when all you see in the media is a sea of Khaki pants and shirtsleeves.

But what I find most interesting is not the degree to which folks of other ethnicities might harbor less than favorable impressions of Caucasians. Rather, I love the degree to which white people like to make fun of themselves…or “other” white people. I also love the light-hearted commentary we see from other facets of mainstream culture that we love to watch in the vein of “it’s funny because it’s true”.
I have been observing and enjoying (and in many cases participating in) this emergence of a self-depricating mainstream white culture and acceptance of racial criticism of “white folks”.   Sure, it’s funny when we talk about how we can’t dance, jump or take a joke. But given that the “white majority” is soon to become a thing of the past in the U.S. as we grow a truly diverse and rich population, it’s important that we allow ourselves to be properly initiated.

It’s almost like we are creating a new tribe of Americans and the “white kids” are being initiated by modified public shaming.  This is actually a fairly common tribal cultural tradition to set people straight as they integrate into community life.  For example, potty training in some Native American cultures includes allowing your toddler to go to the bathroom outside / in front of everyone and then laughing at them.  In some hunting tribes it is customary to berate the quality of a fresh kill to the one who did the deed so as not to allow that person to get a “big head” about their hunting prowess.

Conversely, in American culture, here are some examples of how white people are shaming ourselves or “taking it on the chin” as we become reintegrated into a distinctly multi-ethnic mainstream society:

Stuff White People Like:
Sh*t White Girls Say to Black Girls:


30 things white people do that black people don’t:


White People Problems:
And so on.  I welcome any and all additions to the list to add to my data set.  This Narcissistic Anthropologist wants to leave no stone un-thrown as I study the re-initiation of Caucasian Americans s into our modern U.S.  culture.

8 thoughts on “Some of My Best Friends Are White People

  1. I would say that the “public shaming” is *extremely* modified. Having the luxury to poke fun at oneself after having been in power of other groups – and knowing that you will remain in power for the forseeable future – is probably qualitatively different than other groups actual public shaming and sufferings that have occurred.
    On a lighter note, you definitely point out some great sites and hilarious examples!

    1. Thanks or the reply. I was speaking of public shaming in more of the ethnocentric context: experiencing it within the confines of your own social unit / group: in this case the social group is a bit larger / not tribal…and the “shaming” behavior more of a comparison to the tribal ritual than the greater infliction of social ills…if that makes sense…

  2. Yeah, I’m really excited. We are going to be a minority! It’ll be just like being Bengali in Pakistan. It’s a good thing all the other “races” of the world are so much nicer to each other than “whites” are to “non-whites.” This is the best solution ever. You are the smartest anthropologist ever. I bet you must be rich. Or “non-white,” including the strong possibility of being a member of the jewish cult.

    “It would stand to reason that white folks in America should be able to take one on the chin every now and then given our American history of bigotry, oppression and otherwise mistreating minorities and non-white natives. ”


    But don’t worry. Once whites lose all their political power — and this has already basically happened–, I’m sure their replacements will be much better. It is something intrinsic about white human nature that they oppress others when they have more power.

    Who will take the lead? It seems like it will be a jewish financial elite and an Asian technocratic elite. Well, ok. That’s great. jews have never harmed anyone. Their entire history, including the present, they have been at the forefront of human rights. I mean, have you ever heard a serious critic of their policies?

    And Asians? Wow, these are the gentlest people on planet Earth. For example, did you know that Brahmin Indians are divinely superior to the Shudra? But they are so mericful that they had happily enslaved those people for 2k years before European discovery. Or what about the “Han?” When have the Chinese ever oppressed anyone? I’ve actually known a lot of Chinese people, and they have all loved white people like their own brothers. In almost every case, at least half of every Han’s friends is white.

    Are you really that stupid? You make me physically sick. And I bet you won’t even bother to post this because you are a jewish pseudoacademic who is conducting information warefare against the Western world. Quit your job today.

    1. And for the record – I would never assert that “white people” have been the only “race” guilty of oppressing others. Just poking some fun at how silly humans can be…an endless source of material is out there. Thank you for continuing to prove my point on that.

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